The Importance of Stories

Stories are the way we process internal feelings that are hard to explain any other way. They make the unspeakable speakable. They make the funny hilarious. They make the complicated simpler. They help us understand things we would otherwise be confounded by. Deep things. Things philosophers have been grappling with since the beginning of thought. And simple things. Things we complicate because that's just how we are. If you've never been brought to tears or uncontrollable laughter by a story then I don't know who you are or what planet you live on. Because we are all about stories. That's just how we are. So next time someone starts sharing a story remember how important they are. Listen closely. It's a great opportunity. You may even learn something about yourself.

Clearness

When Quakers are trying to find answers we say we're looking for "clearness". In other words, do I have a clarity of heart and mind to either move forward with a matter, wait, or take other action? Can I come to a point where I understand the options and ways forward and feel those choices are in line with what I believe, who I am, and what want to be?

Many times life is so muddled. There are many voices and choices presented to us all the time. Actions that in the past would... have been totally unacceptable are now celebrated. Considerations that were once afforded even to strangers are now neglected and even ridiculed. It's a crazy mixed up world theses days and there's very little "clearness" in it.

Clearness happens when we take the time to still our hearts and minds and spend time to thoughtfully consider the options we have before us. Not ignore them, not run away from them, but realize there's a direct connection to the choices we make and the type of people we become.

Going with the flow of negative actions and behaviors drags us all down. It's all too easy to fall into the trap. It's fed to us from social media, from news media, reality TV shows, politicians, even from our friends and family. But when everyone wants to be top dog, when everyone is hell bent on winning or being better than everybody else . . . everyone loses.

It's time we tried to get some clearness. It's time we matched our actions and words with what we believe, who we truly are, and who we wish to be. Who knows? If we can find the clarity to be more genuine with those around us maybe they will gain some clearness too and we can all become more kind and loving people.

Headlong Into the Mist

What extraordinary creatures we are. Complex yet simple. Moved by the smallest concerns and firm against the greatest. And yet we travel our lives in circles inside of circles. Repeating experiences until they become familiar and safe. Safe and un-fulfilling.

But once in while we need to choose the unfamiliar. Chase our dreams. Follow our hearts desire. Let it stretch us; pull us, scare us, change us, dare us.

Run headlong into the mist, my friend! Jump with both feet. I'll meet you there. We'll take the risk. Step into the unknown. Be fully human. Embrace our fears. One thing will be certain, when we die we will have fully lived out life's adventures.

Making Memories

Sometimes it's just about making joyful memories. Memories of faces that smile, hearts that warm, and laughter - lots and lots of laughter.

Because those memories are small soft moments where the heart and mind and all that's right in the world comes together for the briefest kiss. When you stumble on them be ready, grasp them, hold them, take a mental snapshot in your mind for viewing on other not so happy days.

Sure, a camera may capture images of the past, but only the heart can recall the glow of the moment. Only our memories can bring them back to life.

Go out today and make some memories - moments never to be forgotten. Time is passing. Share your heart, share your thoughts, share your joy, and hold those you love close because it won't always be this way and you'll want to remember.

Looking in the Mirror

I know you've done it. You stop and take a long look in the mirror and you notice another line or gray hair and you wonder, "Who is this person looking back at me?" And then you realize - it's you! Truth is we're all physically affected by the continuum of time. You just can't stop it.

But what makes us unique to all other creatures is that there is another equally significant dimension we experience. A timeless inner existence where who we are never changes. We think with those thoughts, we live with that heart, and we look at life through those eyes. So it's no wonder we get that sudden jolt when we see something contrary in the mirror.

After college I moved back home for a short while. I told my Mom I wasn't too certain about the whole "adult" thing. My observations of adults hadn't led me to believe it had many redeeming qualities. I'll never forget what she said, "Kris, you can be a kid as long as you like . . . just don't be childish". I had to say she had me there. Who knew you had a choice?! And you know what? It turned out to be the best advice I was ever given.

So here's to the kid I'll always be no matter how old I get . . . now put down that silly mirror and let's go have us some fun!

Interviews

So I was talking to someone today about inane interview questions. Questions like, "Why are you the best person for this position?" or "Why should we hire you?"

And I'm thinking to myself, "Well, that's stupid. Why do you want me to do your job for you? You're the one who's doing the hiring. You should be able to make up your mind based on the qualifications of the candidates. Did you even look at the resumes?"

I really think these are very lazy interview questions. It would be better to ask "What motivates you?" or "Tell me about accomplishments you're proud of". Otherwise this is just a pointless exercise and makes a potentially great employee uncomfortable.

A well-crafted interview process gets to the heart of who the candidate is as a person, what skill sets they bring to the position, and what potential they have.

I once went to ask the President of the company I was working at about a higher position that had suddenly opened. When I told him I wanted to apply he said, "What makes you think you can do it?" and I replied "What makes you think I can't?"

I got the job.

Enough said.

When I Was Younger

When I was younger
I wanted to be prettier
I wanted to be smarter
I wanted people to like me
And I wanted to be happy

Now that I'm older
I want to be kinder
I want to be wiser
I want people to know how special they are
And I want to leave the world a better, brighter place

Funny how things change.

Everyday

Everyday someone somewhere, perhaps even someone you know personally, is doing something extraordinary because it's the right thing to do. Because maybe no-one else will do it. Perhaps because they can't help but do it. But I'm telling you it's happening because I see it everyday. People without the slightest expectation of reward or recognition are helping people.

It's up to us to make a difference. We can do it. It takes so little to do something that can be so profound to ...someone else. You might not even realize it. Maybe it's just that moment in the checkout line when you catch someone's eye and give a smile. Our maybe you give someone your last dollar at the soda machine because they don't have change. Or someone drops their car keys and you pick them up, who knows, but that may be the only kind interaction they have all day.

The beautiful thing is that one act may trigger a whole chain of kindness. And that chain might, in a short amount of time, reach around your workplace, or your neighborhood, or your town, or who knows . . . even the world.

Miracles

Maybe we should stop hoping for miracles and just be one for somebody else

Butterfly Wings

Listen, my friend. You really should give yourself more credit. You are capable of more than you realize.

Each and every one of us contains the gift of creation. By that I mean we can affect the world around us by creating and sustaining an environment within ourselves that cultivates kindness and love and caring.

It's pretty simple. You can't hope to change the world if you don't start with yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself. You have to forgive yourself the things you... beat yourself up about. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Care about yourself. It's not about being perfect, it's about being perfectly human. That's all that's really asked of us in this world.

You have to give yourself the benefit of the doubt about the impact you can have. Trust me. You'd be amazed if you only knew. Those butterfly wings on the other side of the earth are actually you!

Positive motion begets positive motion. Showing kindness breeds kindness. Cultivating love grows love. Caring about each other creates a world we can all live in.

Balance and Equilibrium

Balance and equilibrium are wonderful things.

In the late summer of 1998 we purchased acreage in Vermont with the intention of building a small cabin there. It was a beautiful site near the Battenkill River Valley at the foot of the Green Mountains where we could see the Taconics on the other side.

Later that fall we took a trip up to start planning the site and discovered that loggers had cut trees on an adjacent lot to ours and dragged them across our property leaving large... furrows and damage. Heavy logging trucks that hauled the logs away had pushed the road apart and left tire tracks so deep that subsequent rains created ruts that measured up to our knees. The road was completely impassable.

We decided to sue loggers for damages, but let’s face - it nobody wins a lawsuit in the end. To be honest it would’ve take tens of thousands of dollars to repair the road, which the loggers themselves could scarcely afford. In the end we settled for a small dollar amount, which we decided to use on the cabin . . . if we ever built it.

In late spring we ventured back up to the site certain we wouldn’t be able to reach it and dreading the subsequent disappointment we’d feel. To our surprise the road had already started to heal itself. The melting winter snow and spring rains had loosened the soil and began leveling out the damage. The natural evolutionary process of the earth had solved our problem.

There is a natural equilibrium to life that we often don't see because it happens over the long haul. Sometimes circumstances beyond our control make us vulnerable to the erosion of our spirit. But we are slowly and purposely healed by the daily occurrences of life, the support of our family and friends, and by a guiding hand that we cannot see. So have faith - over time everything will even out.